Dual....:-)
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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