She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
