my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
