I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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