we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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