guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
