WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize