My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
two words...techno handjob
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
