TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
