Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
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