Having a random hookup so left but love u
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Randomize
