i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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