dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
