Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
