im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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