Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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