dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Everclear isn't food dammit
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
