I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
