I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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