doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
