he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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