ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
