You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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