That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
