apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
