sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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