My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
