some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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