She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
