Duck Duck Cougar?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There's always time for handjobs
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
we should paint friendship bongs
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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