Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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