Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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