She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize