Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just high enough for therapy.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
