wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
