For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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