If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
