I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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