I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
