Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
