Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
