You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
