Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Mom said you looked used
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
