nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
