Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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