the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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