So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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