He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
