you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
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