The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
