I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
