i don't like sucking hair
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
