Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
