when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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