I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
