how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
