ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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