also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
