Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

he just said he'd buy the porn

(919): View more from North Carolina

its a step up from the last guy

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(513): View more from Ohio

you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza

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(250): View more from British Columbia

dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf

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(319): View more from Iowa

Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I guess, just don't make it awkward

(603): View more from New Hampshire

MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.

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(707): View more from California

You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."

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(360): View more from Washington

Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?

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(213): View more from California

I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina

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