I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
