i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
